Yeah, I have been mightily remiss in my posting. So much has happened, but all of it little stuff, details: we had a great visit in Virginia, we came home without incident, Madelene laughed for the first time, she has her first little cold but it’s passing quickly… All good stuff. I got behind in posting, then felt guilty, then let it go for over a month. Alas.
We just got news this week that the hearing for the adoption will take place on the 23rd of May. I’ll be Madelene’s momma legally, unto perpetuity! I am so excited and scared and thrilled, all at once. I want to be the best mother I can be to this child, and I know I can be. It’s the fact that I have chosen every single step that freaks me out sometimes. I have no excuses, no safety nets if I screw anything up. I absolutely chose to be in this family, to have this child with Jen, to change my life. No other decision I have made in my life so far has been so weighty, so lasting.
Luckily, the freak out lasts just a millisecond when I look into M’s lovely eyes. This is the best decision I have ever made. This path will teach me more than any other I could have chosen. My trajectory has been changed utterly, and I had no idea how much quality the change would add to my life. Just think–five years ago, I was a very lonely person in a tiny little lifelette, thinking that pet ownership was the biggest commitment I could possibly make. Now, I wake up and look over and see my family first thing, not even an arm’s length away. I am still learning how to be a part of this lovely grouping, but that takes a lifetime anyway.